Black women are always talking about hair, it's our crown and glory. like many women I too have gone through dozens of hairstyles from the curly perm to the cornrow. Whether you have long , short , thick, thin or soft hair, this issue always seems to crop up in conversation. I'm sure many of you can relate to me when I say hair has been an issue since our childhood because according to our parents we are representing them.
Appearance was everything and still is everything....
As we know slavery has a lot to do with how we see our selves in modern society. I know many people may think that, that was centuries ago, well it was, but the psychological aftermath of it can still be seen in how black people see themselves today.
I've always had discussions on what the good hair, bad hair thing is all about with my best friend and we both have come to the same conclusions. Good hair is opposite to the norms of the black hair, straight and commercial. Well to me this sounds all too similar to European hair, which ironically, we could never posses. This is why black sites which insistently preach black roots and black struggles in society and refers to black hair as 'tuff, unmanageable, kinky' etc gets me annoyed because they give a negative connotation to the make up of our hair (therefore pointing to a standard of hair) instead of encouraging black women on how to love their hair and themselves.
I came across the blog site 'The Angry Black Woman' which covers cultural, cosmetic, social etc issues concerning black women from an opinionated point of view. This site has some good elements to it. The writer discusses her personal experience of her hair from childhood to adulthood. She also confronts the good hair, bad hair terminology that we use and she's honest about how she feels about her own hair.
One thing that I don't like about this, is that although her blog reads well and there are elements which any black woman could identify with, towards the end i feel that she re-iterates what we are trying to get away from. In the beginning she states her struggles of dealing with her hair and then at the end she almost seems enlightened when she finds out that she actually has 'white girl hair'. It's worrying and concerning, because it shows how confused we are about our identity.
One day during my sophomore year I stepped out of the shower, looked in the mirror, and noticed something extraordinary. Half of my hair was wavy. Really wavy. Trying to be curly. This was the top half, the bottom half was straight - leftover from my last relaxer, so many months before. I never knew that my hair was wavy/curly, I always thought it was just bushy, kinky, and untamable.
What else was I supposed to think? I had black people's hair.Good hair, certainly, because it was thick and styleable. But certainly not
I decided to let my natural hair grow out to see what it really looked like. The result: I have fabulous hair, y'all. I have, naturally, the hair I always dreamed of having. It curls in coils/ringlets and will either curl in big locks or small sections, giving me a modicum of control over the amount of body it has. I have white girl hair.
I appreciate her honesty, as she's saying things that a lot of black woman are probably afraid to say, but at the same time she's giving mixed messages to her readers. It's as if she's saying that for most of her life she had to 'deal' with her natural hair instead of embrace it and as soon as she found out her hair was curlier and wavier it was like 'a breath of fresh air'- she no longer had to deal with the 'burden' of having natural black hair.This again is just another representation of how confused we can be as a race, like many say, we have been westernised and as a result we've been taught what beauty should look like- and it's everything but being black with thick hair.
She even notices this herself.
Now wait a damn minute, you're saying. Didn't we just go over black people's hair esteem issues and didn't you basically express an opinion that wanting hair like white people's is bad? I did, yeah. But that's an intellectual view of the situation. Emotionally, I was so happy to have white girl hair I flaunted it all over the place. I found the perfect product to keep it from going over into frizzyness and proceeded to flip, play with, and highlight the merits of my hair every chance I got. I went a little crazy for a while
This exhausts me and perplexes the issue even more.
My take on the whole issue is that I disagree with the good hair bad hair thing, it's like saying if your hair isn't a certain texture, have more defined curls, then this means you have bad hair. At the end of the day your hair condition comes down to maintenance. If you don't look after your hair, eat properly or generally look after yourself then your hair will show it. Obviously different genetics equals equals different people with different hairtypes. But why should there be a standard? Why should black woman aspire to have hair that only Latinos, whites and Asians have? There is absolutely nothing wrong with black hair, it's abundant, full bodied and beautiful. We need to focus on our self esteem and confidence then hopefully we'll learn to love ourselves and not put ourselves down.
We are made in our Fathers image (everyone) we all need to stop looking around at each other and comparing ourselves. We need to love our individuality and not give in to thinking and changing ourselves to fit the schedule of the World, it's forever changing. Black women, love yourselves, in your skin, hair, features- everything.
As India Arie says: We are not our hair. (that's not the most important thing)
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